Life: It Is What It Is

and im tryin to stay strong. Im tired, im bored. Its all starting to get to me. Although, i LOVE being a mother. I feel like i have ZERO time for myself. I went and got my hair cut, they MESSED IT UP!! that didnt help. Ezra is actually doing just fine. He nly wakes up a couple times a night. But because i dont take naps, im still just exhausted. Im super close to getting my licence, which will help things out alot. I can be mre idependent. I can do things. Ethan can get out of the house more. That bothers me the most. Ethan being cooped up. Its not that he is driving me nuts, cuz he isnt. Its just that i want him to do more. He needs to get out as well. But here starting august 9th, he is starting Tae Kwon Do. Awww..he'll be a "little dragon". But that lands on Brians days off, therefore; he can go. I wanted him to be in soccor, which just started, but i dont have a licence, so; he cant go. SO...the fact that my son is cooped up is my biggest motivation to start studying ...

The story of my life right here. I love it.

This is the day that my smallest angel was sent down to me. Ezra Nehemiah Metcalf. Weighing in at a whopping 6 lbs 8 oz and 19 inches long. My water broke at 10:30 am and he was born that evening at 9:55 pm. Although, that seems like a while, my labor didnt really start until about 5:30 pm. My water broke but there was no progression. So, they gave me pitocin at 4:30, and it kicked me into gear at 5:30. The contractions were commin good. They were bearable, and i was only dialated at 4cmm. This went on until about 9:30 pm. I was right in the middle of a contraction when i felt my pelvis "POP!" and thats when the pain hit. I was immediatly in tears cuz the pain was soooo unbearable. So i was screaming for the epidural because i was only at 5cmm and figured this was going to last a while. So and the anesthisologist(pretty close spelling) was on her way, i was pushing him out. I went from a 5 to pushing him out in 20 mins. My original plan was not to have drugs in the first pla...